Written by a Friend

"as a person i am constantly inspecting the glass which i always seem to expect surrounds me. upon closer inspection, i realize that it is merely my breath freezing and unfreezing. taste it, it's sweet. not only can i read minds but i see angels on rooftops. i suspect they're terrible. i'm not fit to be admired. peruse through the dusty books on your shelf and you might find my mantra. i demand you love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love me love e love me love eloe me loeve eme love me loveme loeve me leoeme eme loeve love me love me love eme love me loeve love me love me elove me loebe em oo vl."

--I absolutely ADORE this.

Character Foils

Some of the people I've met, or gotten to know this [school]year have made me really realize how much I don't like or can't stand some people, or maybe just certain characteristics found in many people I know. These people I've met are some of, at the risk of sounding cliche, the coolest people I can imagine. They're different. They don't care what people think. They aren't ignorant or intolerant, nor are they annoying in any way, shape, or form. They know how to have a good time, but also know when to be serious when needed. And I know I'm just listing good qualities, and I definitely could keep going, but really, these people put those qualities in sharp relief. They are the character foils of several people I've come to know, unfortunately for those several, because they don't stand a chance at standing up in any comparison to these "really cool people". I call them that because honestly, I don't know how else to describe them. I'm just really grateful that I've become friends with 'em, because it's making my senior year a hell of a lot better.

Eyes

I'm looking out the window at a city that has confined me for 17 years, and I notice how many lights there are. I know the amount has grown as I have through the years, and as each one twinkles with a jolt of electric light, I think of your eyes. Of all things to think of when I look out upon this industrially compounded farm city, I think of them. And just as I'm trapped in this town, I'm trapped in those eyes.

Four Years Ago

I stepped out of my car and joined a team that would become a family. I thought they were crazy, and I was right, but I became one of them.28 bibs, 112 safety pins, a few medals and awards, dozens of pairs of shoes, thousands of miles, and many a come and go of familiar faces brings me here, four years later, at the end of my journey through high school cross country.
My thought process going in was, hey! I get good times on the mile at Townsend, I should do cross country in high school! And so it began. I became accustomed to the closeness, the family-like quality to cross country. I got close to my teammates, and learned things about life that I think have shaped me into who I am now. I ran myself into the ground, quite literally, many a time, and I got up and did it again. For four years, I've been picking myself up off the ground and running all over southern California with my closest friends and faux family, cracking jokes, and learning things. The actual running is only a small part of the dynamic that kept me in the vicious cycle that is the sport. And when it comes down to it, that dynamic is almost something that can't be described in just one way. It's different for every single person, and great in each and every respect. I've met some of the most amazing people I know on this team, and I've learned some of the most important things about life and working as a team.
My point is that my seasons have come to a close, and it's the weirdest thing to think about. Today was my last high school cross country race ever. Last Saturday was the last race I would ever run with my girls. I still feel like I should be a freshman, and I still feel like I'll be coming back next year, to continue what has ultimately been my life for the past four years, but I'm not. I don't think it'll actually hit for a while, as most things of this sort, and until then I'll be in a sort of limbo.
The funny thing is that I always ask myself why the hell I joined, and why the hell I kept running through everything, but really, I sure as hell wouldn't give any of it up for the world.

Gold Star

Let me just stick it on your big fat forehead so it's out in the open.

2:56AM

The last time I checked the clock, it was 2:56.

I haven't looked at it since, but I know time has passed.

I'm laying in the dark, but I've been in the dark for so much longer than tonight.

Hands reach down for me and I decline them. I have to get up myself.

My eyes are wide open, and yet I can't see anything in front of me.

Your face comes through though, and it wouldn't matter if my eyes were open or closed.

Burning, ripping your way into my thoughts, igniting the dark.

The last time I checked the clock, it was 2:56.

I won't check it again.

Meet Me Across the Seas

I found your picture on a shelf in an antique store, and now I'm looking for more.