Slipping me away from you
"Oh it doesn't matter how you hide
Find you if we're wanting to
So slide back down and close your eyes
Sleep a while
You must be tired... "

Friday, August 29, 2008

NeverYourBiggestFan

I haven't blogged about anything on here for a while. So today I will. 
Let me just say that AP work is burdening my life. But that's my fault because I used my oh-so-wonderful procrastination skills and waited until a couple days ago to actually start it. So consequentially, I stayed up until 4:30 AM last night/morning with Nicole (who isn't as bad as me in the procrastination department, but still pretty bad..). I plan on working on it all day today, and tomorrow until I get to taste the sweet freedom of dinner and shoe shopping with my twin. I'm pretty sure I'll get close to finishing what I need to do, at least in UShistory. I'm focusing most of my "energy" on American Dream and Albion's Seed, considering that they are due first. So once I finish with them, it's on to Amusing Ourselves to Death and Billy Budd. Shoot me. 
I love Nevershoutnever! and Christofer Drew. The music is great for one, and Christofer's purpose and influence behind it is inspiring; peace and love to put it simply. We need more people like him in this world. I have his new demo up on my profile; yourbiggestfan. It's pretty amazing.
I watched Barack Obama accept the Democratic nomination last night. He is a great speaker for one, and he came out aggressive, which was pretty cool to see. He was calling out McCain and Bush and all that; I was like daaaaaaang for lack of a better word. I like his ideas, and where he stands on the war and who we all are: Americans. He stated that yes, he may be a democrat and someone else may be a republican but we are all united in patriotism.

"But what I will not do is suggest that the Senator takes his positions for political purposes. Because one of the things that we have to change in our politics is the idea that people cannot disagree without challenging each other’s character and patriotism.

The times are too serious, the stakes are too high for this same partisan playbook. So let us agree that patriotism has no party. I love this country, and so do you, and so does John McCain. The men and women who serve in our battlefields may be Democrats and Republicans and Independents, but they have fought together and bled together and some died together under the same proud flag. They have not served a Red America or a Blue America – they have served the United States of America.

So I’ve got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first." 

He stated his humble beginnings, which showed belief and hard work coming through to acheive exactly what he wanted, even through his life struggles; The American Dream. (MY AP WORK IS LINKING WITH LIFE!) He called out John McCain big time on the grounds of the war in Iraq:

"For while Senator McCain was turning his sights to Iraq just days after 9/11, I stood up and opposed this war, knowing that it would distract us from the real threats we face. When John McCain said we could just “muddle through” in Afghanistan, I argued for more resources and more troops to finish the fight against the terrorists who actually attacked us on 9/11, and made clear that we must take out Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants if we have them in our sights. John McCain likes to say that he’ll follow bin Laden to the Gates of Hell – but he won’t even go to the cave where he lives."

(This is when I said 'daaaang'). Obama is striving for change, which is what I really think our country needs. He was really straight forward about everything, and recognized the two party's differences and disagreements, but stated a common ground for all arguments.

"We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country. The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don’t tell me we can’t uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals. I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in the hospital and to live lives free of discrimination. Passions fly on immigration, but I don’t know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. This too is part of America’s promise – the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort."

 Overall, I was impressed by his speaking abilities and everything he said. He quoted Martin Luther King Jr. at the end of his speech:

"'We cannot walk alone,' the preacher cried. 'And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back.'

"America, we cannot turn back. Not with so much work to be done. Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for. Not with an economy to fix and cities to rebuild and farms to save. Not with so many families to protect and so many lives to mend. America, we cannot turn back. We cannot walk alone. At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more to march into the future. Let us keep that promise – that American promise – and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess."

I think this is the first time I've really tuned into a presidential election; I feel grown up! Haha. Now it's time for more AP work; NOT my American Dream. 

"..So I keep the world in a box next to me, black as night, just waiting for some sort of sun to rise, because I don't want to face the ends of beginnings and the beginnings of ends.."

-lyrics in progress--Jenna 

Friday, August 8, 2008

Writing My Way Out

Mammoth cross country camp starts tomorrow to my excitement! I'm so ready to get out of this town. It's going to be a week of "rebooting" to say the least. I need a total break from some things at home, cough, Mom, cough. It's the same thing with her all the damn time. It sucks though. She asked me if I was feeling depressed lately today. I guess I give off some sucky vibes. 
I haven't had much to write in the past few days. I'm coming back to who I am though, almost. It's almost like I'm scared to even think about it though; I'm scared of having a "relapse" per say. It's all life though, the ebbing and flowing without conscious realizations of who or what it's effecting. But really, if such things didn't happen, life would be pretty deadbeat; too predictable, like living the same day, everyday. I try to stay as optimistic as I can through it all though; I figure there's got to be a good side to most everything. 
On another note, I've realized that words come easily to me through writing. I can't necessarily speak them without stumbling over a word or punctuation mark, but I can write like it's as natural as breathing. Thoughts and ideas come to me out of no where, and I just write them down, whether it be on a napkin, in my phone, or on paper. Creative lyrics a lot of the time, or whatever I'm writing on this blog. I'll throw in lyrics I come up with as I go from time to time. 
It's 11:11pm, make a wish! Haha. I need to finish packing and catch some ZZZZZs. I'll update when I have access to internet in about a week. 

"Fingers dance on the keyboard in cirlces, waiting for a ghost melody to appear by chance.." 

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Breaking Dawn and Breaking Waves

Got the last book of the Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyer! I just started reading it at around 8:30-8:45ish and I'm already on page 137. It's funny how books can just pull you in like that. 
The Cross Country beach trip was yesterday, and I'm completely exhausted. 12 miles at 7am, then a full day at the beach, coming home at 11. It was one of the best days I've had this summer though. I can honestly say that I think that 50% of the reason I keep running like I do is because of the people on the team. It's like having a huge family who will back you up for anything; I love them all. 
I've concluded that I think way too much. I overanalyze everything which makes my life so much more difficult. I need to get back to who I am soon so I can think straight. Life is like the ocean, consistent with waves and tides; pulling and pushing, but at the same time, an unexpected force to be reckoned with, something as unpredictable as it can get. One minute you're standing on the sand, and the next you're decked, rolling in uncontrollable vertexes with the wave that just came at you from behind. I'm in a nonstop roll.