School is 4 weeks in, I'm a senior, I only have three academic classes, but two are AP. I can start applying to cal states TOMORROW (oh my god) and I'm taking a second SAT in less than two weeks. I already have senioritus, and I can't wait to graduate. But I'm sad cause I'll be the one leaving people this time, unlike last year. It's so weird to think that I'm starting the rest of my life, and yet I'm only 16. Granted I'll be 17 when I graduate, but I'm still trying to get my head around it.
Cross country is in full swing as usual for this time of the season, and we had our first league meet yesterday. I'm feeling great, which is unusual because I usually feel better towards the end of the season. Let's hope this isn't early peaking. Our team is young and new, and we're doing awesome for it being so. The girls are doing awesome, even if a couple pretty much hyperventilate (cough, GABLE, cough) before each race. I'm excited for them because they're going to be beastly if they stick with it. Being captain with Alex is really fun, cause we're PICs. Bergmann didn't know what he was getting himself into when he made us both captain, haha.
I think I've finally begun to find myself within all the chaos that is my mind, and it's really good for me. I'm content. Of course I still think too much, and I'm still a bit lost at sea, but it's a hell of a lot better than it was last year. HELL of a lot better. I'm making changes to stay the same, if that makes any sense at all.
Still not happy with my home life. It's not like I have a horrible home life either; my parents are still married, don't fight, feed me, keep a roof over my head, and all of that. I have it really good compared to a lot of people. I just detest being home. I find any reason to be out of the house, at someone else's house, or just anywhere. I can't exactly pinpoint why though. My mom is definitely part of it. And my sister, because she's just like my mom. My dad isn't home all day, so he doesn't see where I'm coming from. I've always had this problem with my mom though. I remember being at least 6 and having to have my dad have us talk about things. It's still exactly the same. My dad says it'll probably be better when I go to college and I agree. If I'm not around her, we get along.
In other news, Paramore's new CD, Brand New Eyes, is out, and I absolutely love it. I think their album was the first one I was really excited about coming out this year. C'mon MCR, I'm waiting for yours now haha. Music's been a huge part of my life, more and more lately, and I'm going to start trying to be more patient with learning to actually play things (on guitar and piano) because I really would love to be able to do so.
My art and photography have been at a sort of stand still lately, mostly because of school, and the fact that inspiration has been sort of lacking for the past while. And of course, when I get any sort of inspiration, either I'm away from my camera or pen and pencil, or I just can't do anything about it because I don't have anything to do it with. Gonna get back on it though, those things are my anti-depressants.
I haven't been to the beach in way too long, and I need to go, because I miss going almost every week. I need my sand, waves, board, friends, and Albertson's fix.
Don't have much more to say tonight, so I'm going to go lay in bed and think about sleeping. Doubtful though.
