Paris, London

Winter, 2009-2010, I'm hoping I will be in Paris, France, and London, England, with friends and a nice camera.
New Years Eve in Paris, New Years Day in London.
These are the kind of things that get me pumped and excited for the rest of the year.

Dear World,

You keep spinning, and I'm getting dizzy.

We Wear the Mask

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

--Paul Laurence Dunbar

Follow the Leader

If I stand for you, will you stand for me?

And if I fall will you stay standing?

If I run away, will you follow me?

And if I turn around will you turn with me?

I can't do it on my own, and you've got the will to sacrifice,

so keep the blood coming,

cause it's thicker than water,

and water's all we've got to put out this fire.

19 Days

Late nights. Footprints in the sand. Clothes smelling like bonfires from nights before. Spontaneous plans, and things that have been planned forever. Movie nights, game nights. Running with the rise of the sun. Skimming down the beach without a worry. Walking around the city at night. Pool parties and barbecues. Shorts and tank-tops. Road trips. Summer songs. Sunglasses. The smell of sunscreen. Tan lines. Driving with the top down. Salt and Sand. Freedom. Sleepovers. Concerts. Rolling down hills in the grass. Being with friends all of the time. Taking pictures and developing film. Growing up. Meeting new people. Flings. Laughing until oxygen is hard to find. Projects. Counting down til senior year. Adventures. Unknowns.

Summer.

Complete Calm

I went to the beach today, and went out too far.
The rip tide sucked me out, and the waves were breaking past me.
I wasn't scared.
I swam towards shore and was caught by the life guard, telling me only to go waist deep next time.
I'd do it again.
I felt at home, and I felt no danger.

I haven't felt really, honestly at home in a while.

And It Seems to Just Come Back

Every time I think I'm fine.

So you turn the radio up louder so you can't hear it.

You drive a little faster so the wind blows it away.

You run from it so you don't have to deal with it.

You don't open the envelope so you can say you didn't see it.

You delete it so it doesn't look like you said it.

You justify actions so you don't have to take the responsibility for them.

But it's still there. It's all still sitting there, waiting for you to quit taking the backseat and to take the dive into what you need to.